Getting back together would be painful and not the same

When I woke up this morning and thought about Ray, I thought about how his Line profile pic is his dog, while his Instagram is his face. Having his face on IG makes it more “personal” and stirs up emotions more. But I was also used to seeing his dog’s face as him for Line.

It made me realize that all the issues I had before, once I see them again if we get back together, I’ll have an even more elevated response and resentment. It would be painful trying to get through a relationship together, even more than before.

Getting lackluster texts, seeing the dog profile pic, would make me strongly regret everything. And it will happen.

Things would be not be the same. They would be worse.

While I fucking love him to a certain point of insanity, sometimes some sleep and reality-kicking-in can do a lot. I hate this.