I really don’t want children: here’s how I changed my mind

My Secret Notebook
1 min readOct 10, 2024

--

My childhood friend Hannah is having post-partum depression. She regrets having a baby and cries everyday. My cousin Sean is has two kids and that’s his whole life now. And my friend Dorith is doing daily crisis management with the two kids I helped donate sperm to.

Just months ago, when I had good emotional baseline from having a boyfriend, I was feeling ready to take on this challenge in the near-ish future (in 2–5 years). But after breaking up and finding out later my ex had been cheating while we were together, everything has changed.

Even just after the breakup, I was already unsure if I’d even start the surroacy process and if so, how soon. Now, I’ve gotten an even uglier taste of humanity, and I’m prepared to just give up on kids. I don’t want a child to have to experience all these terrible people in the world.

--

--

My Secret Notebook
My Secret Notebook

Written by My Secret Notebook

Quirky, curious, and philosophical Asian American gay Ivy League grad living in Southern California.