I’m almost offended when people are not in love with me.
After going to Dreamstate, and not being warmly welcomed by some Gen Z gaysians, I realized I shouldn’t think so highly of myself.
Who am I to deserve being wanted by EVERYONE?
Some people are high or will want to just hangout with the friends they already have. Maybe some people aren’t interested in me as a friend period and they can tell by vibes. That’s something I should expect and respect.
I think back to when I went on a date with Josh or when I was chatting in a generally friendly way with Alven. It was all pleasant, but they weren’t like really into me or showing a ton of interest. And I was almost offended by that.
But that’s kind of hilarious I would think that.
I’m a 34 year old twig-like gaysian. And maybe slightly above average on looks. Of course more handsome guys aren’t gonna just be in love, for a lot of the time. And let’s get people who aren’t interested or a match to just self-select out.
Maybe there are rumors or talks about me. I wouldn’t know what is said, and I don’t deserve to have to know anyway. I accept that.
After a year of accepting “bad”, I’m back to a new world of having to accept other things. But I’m learning and exploring, so it’s a good tradeoff. And now’s the time to do it! No regrets.