At the end of the day, I’m a creator. I have the skills (and pursued them) to create art in music, drawing, and writing. But I don’t go hard in these fields.
Why is that?
Well, I am not really an artist by passion. I’m a curious student by passion, and that doesn’t necessarily produce income just on it’s own.
When my curiosity and learning hits a spot that I feel there’s a message underdeveloped that could warrant voicing (undersupplied demand, basically), I will get excited in filling it. It seems the obtainment of skills (via curiosity and desire to learn tbh) suddenly are useful in fulfilling this spark of the moment excitement.
That’s the kind of creator I am. And it’s put me a much slower pace. In fact, I’ve slowed down so much in recent years. Output is low.
Now that I’m trying to crank up output for my YouTube, it feels like there are moments I’m lacking inspiration.
I outsource a lot of the production, and I think that’s so me. I like to learn the production side, but not because I like doing it, but because I like know how to do it. It improves my ability to review and enables me to take over if needed.
Because I’m a creator. I write melodies, I write lyrics, I write scripts. But I get tired at laborious thought of producing sounds tracks (unless I am super inspired in the moment) or produce videos/films.
What I need to take off and fulfill my role as a creator is to connect with people who can produce my art. But before that I need to have awesome art to draw the right people to me. I hope that my channel will help that happen.
Art I want to work on:
- LGBTQ storytelling (Christianity vs homosexuality, the struggle; Asian LGBTQ) — there are a lot of stories, especially my own, that I think have not been fully told before. A lot of American gay films are about general discrimination or tryin to make it seem just like any other love story. But the self-hate and internal conflict I’ve experienced hasn’t been portrayed. Asian stories help that a bit more.
I think I’ve really narrowed it down to the above because of my channel, to be honest. Even songs like Prayer X by King Gnu or Your Name Engraved Herein are exactly that — Asian LGBTQ. And that’s the community I want to be more a part of too, specifically Taiwan LGBTQ scene.
The next step is to strategize on how to grow, think bigger. I just watched 2020 year end video by WongFu and their 17 years in the industry. I feel like they are seriously struggling, and I personally think I have a good sense of media and what works/doesn’t work, what is impactful and striking. My videos aren’t necessarily all like that, but there weren’t meant to be super curated/planned.
Do I want to make movie(s)? Am I okay with just writing a book? What are more goals that I have? Is my goal to help the Asian world (Asian American, Taiwanese people, etc) realize that we need to create a space for gay children to grow up safe and unashamed to be themselves? If so, how will these videos do that? How will books do that? Do I join talk shows? Do I provide even more analysis and spread those? (key lines of movies like “At the end of the day, people still don’t realize, even though gay marriage is legal, a lot of gay people — children, adults, all ages — still feel ashamed of themselves and unsafe in being themselves. And it’s not their fault. Society isn’t there yet. Just because we are free to marry doesn’t mean we are really free. So I’m going to keep fighting until everyone and anyone can say they are gay without someone else thinking of them as less in any way.” )
Lol that’s a mouthful, but I think I need to obviously workshop this a bit more. I don’t have the people to produce though, but maybe that is where WongFu comes in. I prepare my work, and feed it to ALL of these “small businesses” (aka Asian filmmakers, or Asian LGBTQ filmmakers). If it’s a good script, they will indeed want to jump on the gravy train that is LGBTQ films in the last 3 years, right!?
Good idea. Let’s brainstorm. Maybe if my book does well, we can turn it into an adaptation. Doesn’t have to do well, tbh. If you have a good idea, just go for it!