Is Fear Holding Me Back?

Recently, fear has been a hot theme in my media consumption.

In the Netflix series Money Heist, a central message was that fear is what gives your enemies leverage, but when you are fearless, they lose the leverage.

In the Book of Esther in the Bible, fear appeared to inhibit necessary bold action or weaken characters. It also gave power to those on the other end.

So it made me think — Is fear holding me back as well? Given that life is so precious and fleeting, I do fear that my fear is holding me back.

I wanted to start a YouTube and put myself out there, but I fear that I won’t put out quality content, might not be consistent, might be disliked by my family if I’m out, and will get irreversibly judged by church people/family.

And all that is not enough for me to put out the effort to do something I want. I also fear I might not actually want it.

I think I’ve been “wanting” influence because I see it as a tool for good and as a barrier against injustice. It’s not the best thing to want, but a part of my has that want. Although it could come with side effects like unwanted attention and being targeted (like in high school).

I’ve been reading about how shortening of telomeres is actually a defense against tumors (ie. cancer). Along with this story I just read, the imminence of death and disease makes me feel I need to go out there to do some good. Good that matters and helps people. And not let fear hold me back.