The LGBTQIA+ Sandwich (Recipe)
Listen up, my darlings, because I’ve got a story to tell you. A story about the greatest sandwich you’ll ever lay your eyes on. And trust me, it’s a real doozy.
It all started one lazy Sunday afternoon when I was feeling a little bit peckish. I rifled through my fridge, looking for something, anything, to satisfy my cravings. And that’s when I saw it: a half-empty jar of apricot jam, just sitting there, looking all sad and neglected.
Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m the kind of gal who doesn’t like to waste anything. So I figured, why not put that jam to good use? And that’s when it hit me: the perfect sandwich.
I grabbed some bread, slathered on some creamy guacamole, piled on some crispy bacon and juicy tomatoes, and then, for the pièce de résistance, I added a generous smear of that sweet, sticky apricot jam.
I took a bite, and let me tell you, angels sang. It was like fireworks exploded in my mouth, and all the flavors were dancing around in perfect harmony.
But that’s not even the best part, my dears. Oh no. The best part was when my friend came over, and I offered her a bite.
She looked at me like I was crazy. “Apricot jam on a sandwich? What kind of madness is this?” she said.
I just smiled slyly and took a bite, savoring every last morsel. And then, like a scene out of a movie, her eyes widened, and she let out a moan of pleasure.
“Holy sh*t,” she said, “this is the best sandwich I’ve ever had.”
And that, my loves, is the origin story of the LGBTQIA+ sandwich. A sandwich so delicious, so daring, so damn sexy, that it’ll make you forget all your worries and just enjoy the moment.
Ingredients:
- L: Lettuce or arugula
- G: Guacamole, creamy and zesty
- B: Bacon, crispy and salty
- T: Tomatoes, juicy and ripe
- Q: Queso, melted and gooey
- I: Italian sausage or salami
- A: Apricot jam
- +: Spicy chipotle mayo
Instructions:
- Begin by toasting two slices of your favorite bread until they’re crispy and golden brown.
- Spread a generous layer of spicy chipotle mayo on one slice of the bread.
- Layer crispy bacon on top of the mayo. Because let’s face it, bacon makes everything better.
- Add a handful of refreshing lettuce or arugula on top of the bacon. Because, you know, balance.
- Layer slices of juicy, ripe tomatoes on top of the greens. Because we’re not monsters.
- Add some slices of savory Italian sausage or salami on top of the tomatoes. Because we’re not afraid of a little meaty goodness.
- Spread a spoonful of sweet and tangy apricot jam over the Italian sausage. Because we’re fancy and we know it.
- Top it all off with a generous layer of melted, gooey queso. Because let’s be real, we don’t mess around when it comes to cheese.
- Top it all off with a dollop of creamy, zesty guacamole. Because, duh, guac is life.
- Place the other slice of bread on top to complete the sandwich.
- Cut the sandwich in half and enjoy your sassy and delicious LGBTQIA+ sandwich!
This sandwich is all about balance, flavor, and sass. The sweet and tangy apricot jam adds a unique twist to the classic sandwich, while the crispy bacon, juicy tomatoes, and savory Italian sausage bring lots of flavor to the party. And of course, the creamy guacamole and gooey queso add some zing. So go ahead, indulge in this sassy and delicious LGBTQIA+ sandwich with pride, because you deserve it.
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Disclosure: Lol, the above recipe AND story was created using ChatGPT LOL! Images AI-generated from Canva (1st image) and DeepAI (2nd and 3rd images). I just kept prompting the AIs until I got what I wanted — switching up the ingredients etc. And asking for a sassy origin story.
I think it has too many sauces though: queso, apricot jam, AND spicy mayo?! Maybe do like cheese for queso (like a cheddar). Other “A” options were apple slices, aioli (which is just the spicy mayo?), or arugula.
Lol, lmk what you think.
