My Date With A Cute Mexican Outdoorsy Nerdy Guy

  1. Smart — He’s getting a masters in environmental science, and he likes strategy tabletop games. He has good language communication, understands what I’m talking about, and is enjoyable to talk to.
  2. Proactive — I love this. He initiated the date and chose the place. He dictated and guided the evening (ie. walking, dessert, etc) without it feeling overbearing. He led and initiated conversations (didn’t let there be too long of a pause). And he initiated the kiss and asked for a second date. The one qualm I have with proactive guys is that they sometimes have too much control over the relationship, and I will feel like they become too essential/influential over the success of a relationship (ie. my role and influence is diminished). Lacking control can increase my risk in general, but I prefer to not be the more proactive one. I prefer balance.
  3. Attractive — He has big masculine hands, nice-ish skin, and juicy enough lips that I want to kiss. And he looks like he works out lol. And he’s tall enough (I was taller, but I was wearing Adidas boosters). While his voice is — let’s say — more of a tenor, overall he meets the criteria for physical attractiveness and exceeded my expectations based on his photos.
  4. Forward-thinking — Like I said, he asked me twice where I plan to live in the future (once, about future in general; second, about the next 5 years). This is not just a nonchalant ask. He is thinking about if a relationship is viable. He mentioned he loves Orange County. I agreed I’d want to live in OC. But he also said career prospects are more likely in central/northern CA. And that getting a job there first and then moving back to SoCal is more realistic. In retrospect, this kind of talk is too serious for a first date, but I don’t mind the forwardness. In fact, I appreciate it. He did mention he was with his ex for 4 years. I didn’t pursue this topic, but it shows he has a history of LTRs instead of flings.
  5. Socially conscious — at least from what I can see. A few times he sort of made disclaimers/caveats if he was going to do something out of the norm. And he apologized for accidentally kicking me or whatnot. Or that he didn’t like al pastor tacos his mom got, but that he’s still grateful. From the small things, you can tell he is cognizant of social cues. However, it is unclear how much of these are followed (more observations needed).
  6. Introverted — This was harder to tell. He had to tell me that he gets exhausted from being a Residential Advisor (hence, he didn’t go the doctor route) in order for me to lead into the introversion question. He said yes that he is introverted, that he prefers one-on-one or at most 3 other people in hangouts. This has yet to be proven in person, especially since he was so proactive tonight and conversed much. But in general, I have no reason not to believe him.
  7. Goofy-ish — There was one time he did something goofy, and another when I did my goofy voice and he laughed. This is good. I don’t know how much of it is copycat or indicative of his true self, but time will tell.




Quirky, curious, and philosophical Asian American gay Ivy League grad living in Southern California.

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My Secret Notebook

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Quirky, curious, and philosophical Asian American gay Ivy League grad living in Southern California.

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