My Life by Year (1990–2023+)

My Secret Notebook
7 min readJan 10, 2024

Here are some big highlights per year recently:

2020: Gay YouTube launched

2021: Gay insta launched, came out

2022: Board game YouTube work

2023: Corporate life proliferation

The projects I did in 2020–2022 were critical to my personal development. The Gay YouTube was introspective therapy that got me to a place where I could create that public gay Insta and eventually come out (timeline sped up of course).

2022 board game YouTube endeavor was coupled with chicken business and jewelry business explorations. And I realized that I just wasn’t good at sustaining small business. I like to start/explore out of curiosity not passion. If the passion/core is not there, it won’t last. And I don’t think I have a core passion for content creation or business.

2023 is the year of jobs. Jobs are different from owning business. You can kind of be more reactive and still get paid. US has a system where job protection can be slightly exploited this way. 2023 was also the year of getting into exploring early retirement some more/developing financial base for that.

Where do I see 2024 going? What has been the trend/direction?

2020 seems like a wrap up on resolving inner conflict, or prompting that. 2021 was the beginning of freedom — coming out, seriously launching content creation endeavors. And financial freedom has been the side objective 2022+. Personal explorations of random interests has waned, but I also came to the conclusion that it’s a bit of a lost cause financially. If I want to try something, I should just do it for fun only.

Trend would probably be toward freedom. But the “I wants” and long-term goals I’ve had point to creating a life I want with freedom/projects/family. That’s the real trend I guess.

Pre-2020 (I ended up doing 1990-2023)

I haven’t really looked at pre-2020. Maybe it’s time to just do a full yearly layout of my… LIFE?

1990–1993: Infancy and toddler years, then went to pre-school? Good days with mom, not that I can remember. I think I went to Japan with my mom and her sister/nephew when I was 2. Maybe my dad went to/and TW.

1994–1995: Pre-school days, sandwich shop commenced, hang with church kids, happy childhood, had my first orgasm at 4 years old during nap time, pulled down pants with Japanese boy during nap. Began learning piano.

1996–1998: Elementary school at Glace Christian. Was kind of naughty whispering “I’ll cut your dick off” to a kid, kind of connected with Bobby during recess once like a mini crush. Saw a kids dick because he showed it to me (Bradley?). Had my power rangers flip key thing stolen by Adam who lied that the teacher took it. I ripped his papers during nap in his desk. Got my name written on the board with checks before. I think I went to Taiwan in 1998 summer. I was reading little house on the Prairie for summer reading. And LiangJiayou liked Leo from Titanic like I did, and was going to bathe with me naked. They had sonic on nintendo and Chinese-dubbed anime.

1999-2001: Elementary school at Miler. Was more of a good kid by now. Had gone to church summer events. More bad kids and cursing. First crush on Charody. Josep my first best friend. Was in children’s choir at church and community asian one. Sang solos.

2002: Got into Oxferd, 7th grade. Was very happy/excited. 7th grade was about getting good grades, getting used to the school. Mom got me uniform at the nice place.

2003: 8th grade. Continued getting used to the school. Friendly and doing well. Had fun, happy. Played piano at my church piano teacher’s wedding. Passed Advanced MTAC.

2004: 9th grade. Chosen for class committee, decided to run for class president. Was surprised Emm and Jill wanted to choose me, but it was because I was friendly/fun I think. I wasn’t even thinking about it that much. I thought I’d do Yearbook or Journalism. Started competing in piano.

2005: 10th grade. Elected class president, chose new class committee. I don’t remember if it was this year or next that I did improv speech and won 2nd place. This is the year when I started experiencing hate and wasn’t as “happy” as I was before. Mom could tell and would ask. But I never thought of it as stressful or unhappy. I was focused and was very into it/engaged. I was on a mission to get into a good school. I think I started playing piano for church choir. I played for youth choir and adult choir. I think at different times, but I don’t remember.

2006: 11th grade. A bunch of AP tests, Publicity Commissioner at school, started the Tech Team and expanded morning announcements. Got video announcements started. I think this is the year our piano trio won 1st place in CA, maybe it’s the next year actually. A bunch of other extracurriculars: speech, resume builder stuff (NHS, Key club, etc), ASB stuff, piano, some church, cross country, etc. I believe I was Sectional VP for FBLA.

2007: 12th grade. Started running for ASB president, then got appointed. I fell in love with Kris over the summer before senior year during Calc AB. Did some more APs, and took AP Chinese and AP Music Theory on my own. Got jealous of Kris and his bf, Kris came out to me etc. School dances. Went to Taiwan end of year and finished school applications over winter break. I did a piano tour in TW. Wrote high school fight song, won contest.

2008: End of high school, start of college. Got into a bunch of Ivy Leagues and good schools. Picked my Ivy League school, and mom was upset after I changed it. Went to church summer event and decided to pursue God/church. I was featured at my mom’s Japanese restaurant newsletter. She was a waitress.

2009: First year of college, missed some classes and courses were harder than I was used to. Got a C, first ever. Quit co-ed acapella I think? Continued in Glee Club, but needed to prioritize church/grades. Saw Humfrey interpret at church in NY and was inspired. Started learning. Involved in Spanish ministry too. Played piano at church choir near college. I think I went to Florida for acapella tour. Went to Calgary for church writing retreat over summer for 1 week. Banff is beautiful.

2010: 2nd year in college, picked Econ major. Started teaching in church I think. Or at least I got trained in summer before this year? Made good church friends from year before, and really inspired to study Bible more. I think I went to Argentina for acapella tour. Started evangelical events on campus? Over summer, wrote church anthem.

2011: 3rd year in college. I think this is when I started conducting in church choir. I continued evangelical events twice a year on campus. And I joined an Asian Christian group, another Christian group which led to one-on-ones with a minister (heated discussions), and a Jewish acapella group. For espionage evangelism lol. The Jewish group was fun, and I ate at their dining hall a bit and made friends! Became good friends with Wills over online sharings. Dominican Republic over summer with Joyz, Gady, and Anna.

2012: End of senior year, graduated (parents came), wrote senior thesis. Mom diagnosed with cancer. Went to Taiwan, and she passed away. Offered new job, deferring start date until Jan 2013. During college, mom tried an office job at Japanese resto but couldn’t do it. Then became caretaker, which she liked. Got $30K from aunt (she said it’s family/grandma’s emergency fund) to treat cancer in Taiwan. Over summer, went to church events. After mom passed, hung with Efan and others “funemployment” period for a few months before new job. It was fun, but also kind of surreal/existential feeling. His doubts were revived.

2013: Started 1st job. Started hanging with Wills more and fell in love with him. Started conducting church choir I think? Interpreting at church too, and led workshops. Moved from childhood home to BP.

2014: Wills got cancer, had surgery, and we went to Japan. I think he did chemo around this time after Japan. Discovered onsen in Japan.

2015: Created OKCupid account, first gay kiss, met Johnathan and visited him in TX (I think this year or next?). First blowjob received. Started writing and sharing blog that was critical of church leadership (+ YouTube), getting polarized feedback. Went to Iceland with Wills, Walder, and Yujen. Crushed on Anthony Wu end of year.

2016: “Dated” Bryan and Mikeo. First BJ to Bryan. Purchased 1st property in end Oct, condo in my childhood gated community. Met Sam, Ryan, and others, forming first gay friend group. Switzerland/Amsterdam in Sep with Walder, Ederna, Mishel, and Joyz. In October, asked to stop conducting church choir, and stopped going to church.

2017: Dated Fung until March (I think), lost virginity to him. First long-term relationship with Osten started, was on-and-off. Worked at start-up, then to KiPe. Moved to ART.

2018: Spain with Daved in Oct. Sean Vancouver wedding in July. April Sean bachelor trip to Moab, UT. On and off w/ Osten. Eventually broke up at some point (1.5 years total).

2019: Feb stopped seeing Tomas. Sep went back to 1st job. Bought 2nd property in Nov, a townhouse. Cabo with Nate in Sep before job return. August Chicago trip to visit Wills with Walder. April Japan trip with other Nate. Feb Dallas visit with Walder. Sep Seattle wedding for Drew and TP. 4/29/19 BTS concert rose bowl with Petty.

2020: Covid, Refinanced 2nd property, started gay YouTube. Jemie pregnant with donor baby, born in Sep. Talked with Kalvin for like 6 months. Became hot/had trainer.

2021: Bought 3rd property in May, single family home. Gay Instagram, met Roy. Came out to family June. Jemie pregnant with 2nd donor baby. Commence 2x/year visits to Texas. Discovered cruisy spas.

2022: Expanded boardgame YouTube. Went to boardgame conventions. Tested chicken and jewelry business ideas. Hit $1M net worth (2/1/22). 2nd Donor baby born in April. NJ/NY 10 yr reunion for college, discovering love for funk jazz. Met Asef and Edei at elite pool party in West Hollywood. Discovered musical improv.

2023: Became boyfriends with Roy, after a break/breakup/him coming out to his best friend. Gencon in August. Started working more. $1.6M net worth (12/30/23). Vegas in Jan with Roy (Hell’s kitchen meal). Santa Barbara in Feb with Roy. Highland Trevor Noah with Roy. We also saw Ronny Chieng in rvine. Went to first improv session in LA.

— — — 2024 +— — —

For 2024, I have Mexico (Feb) and Southeast Asia (May) trips planned. Standup comedy shows in May. Might do a trip in Fall, but not sure. 2 Texas visits.

Beyond 2024:

  • More Travel
  • More ventures/projects
  • Surrogate kids

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My Secret Notebook

Quirky, curious, and philosophical Asian American gay Ivy League grad living in Southern California.