My “perfect guy”.

My Secret Notebook
3 min readJul 24, 2022


My “perfect guy” does not exist precisely because:

He’s smart and intelligent, but isn’t so ambitious and driven that he’s consumed by work. And still understands how I’m smart in my way.

He’s funny and witty, but still enjoys my humor and thinks I’m just as funny.

He’s handsome and hot and tall, but doesn’t have eyes for anyone else, and is extremely attracted to me.

He’s clean, hygienic, and well-groomed, but doesn’t get on my case if I’m slightly messy here and there.

He’s honest and direct, but still sensitive and aware of others in a considerate and warm way.

He’s caring and warm, but also clear-headed on logic and analysis of situations.

He likes to express his opinions, but also is very curious about mine and leaves “room” in the conversation for us to have a balanced and fulfilling chat.

He’s curious about everything, but is supremely loyal and patient in teaching.

He’s patient, but is also fast and efficient at accomplishing things.

He’s successful, but doesn’t hyperfocus on his success, work, or projects.

He gives me space but also loves and tries to spend time with me frequently.

He reminds me he loves me, but in a way that is genuine every time and not overly done.

He is classically trained in music like me, but isn’t too into it now to the point that I’m not interested in what he’s into.

He’s Taiwanese American like me, and his Chinese and English are better than mine, but he is humble about it and loves to teach me when I’m curious about things. And he sees that I’m good at it too and respects me for it.

He likes to play board games, and he’s also good at it, and is great at getting everyone together to have a good time, while showing that he’s firstly thinking of me and how I feel the entire time.

He teaches me new things all the time and asks for my opinion about new topics while also debating/challenging my thinking in a way that is very articulate, well-reasoned, and helps me consider interesting, well-justified points of view I never considered.

He is on top of things, but can also relax and isn’t upset about me sleeping in.

He’s great with people, kids, and animals, but prefers to hangout with just me and the crowds I like hanging out with. But is happy to give space when needed. More introverted, but has the extroverted skills and is happy to be in either situation, and won’t be upset if he isn’t in one or the other.

He doesn’t get mad very easily, only when something is against his values and belief system, which is a system I agree with, that is noble, and is beautifully thought out.

He helps people in need, but doesn’t forget to take of me. He is genuinely kind with a strong sense of guilt and purpose to help those he sees in need.

He isn’t afraid to stand up for his beliefs even when it makes him look bad or embarrassed. And he will do so, as well as stand up for me.

He’s strong but never violent.

He can be trusted with all my finances and healthcare decisions in a way that he knows I’d like and prefer. He’s even better at making these decisions than I am, in a way that I think he’s better.

Everybody I know loves him, and he is respectful and kind to everyone, but cares most about me and will be earnest in wanting me to know.

He is great at taking care of me and himself and sees me as someone so special, unique, and irreplaceable.

He will stay by my side no matter what.

And the list goes one. My point is… yeah, he doesn’t exist. Nobody is like this. Nobody has that perfect balance to match my exact background and personality preference. And even if they somehow did, they wouldn’t like me. Don’t dream for such a person. Don’t expect such a person.



My Secret Notebook

Quirky, curious, and philosophical Asian American gay Ivy League grad living in Southern California.