My Secret Notebook
2 min readNov 24, 2023

It’s time for a big re-evaluation:

  1. Life goals
  2. Work situation
  3. Relationship

I need to examine if I’m happy and if I’m going toward where I want to be. And what exactly that is, if it’s changed or become clearer at all.


  1. Projects: I want to work on fun projects, how ever short or long they are, whenever I want, with the funds to do so.
  2. Children: I want at least 2 children. The reason I’ve been shying away from more in recent days is that one of my tenants has 2 kids, and it just seemed like a handful giving each of them enough attention/favor.
  3. Retiring Early: I hate the rat race, and I don’t want to stay in it. If I can have kids and raise them without working, that’d be ideal.
  4. Travel/Explore/Enjoy: Cafes by nice scenery, exploring cultures, relaxations, and trying new things. That’s part of the adventure of life.

The stresses of work are hindering me from doing projects, but they are giving me funds to have children and even consider retiring early with kids. They take away time from travel/enjoyment, but they also give greater capacity to do so in the future.

I need to reconsider the now. I was okay with the work situation because Roy is busy working too without vacations. But I’m starting to feel like I’m not doing enough. Let’s revisit this after we look at the other items on our lists.


It’s giving me too much stress, especially when other things get added (ie. new tenant search, medical stuff, etc). I try to detach, but I do get reeled into the constant stress. I’m focused on job prime, but even that gets a back seat sometimes to my dismay.

There ARE some days when I’m like this is great and chill. But I shouldn’t forget the other days.

Leaves me tired and sad sometimes. Even on off days/times, I’m mentally recovering and not able to enjoy enough. It might just be that I got some food poisoning (mild) recently, but it’s something that I need on the top of my radar.

What are my options?

  1. Regress to less working: They hampers my goals, and it may set me up for regret. I can even just chill more on the less important work and wait until I get removed, which might not be long if I really suck. Just closes some doors, but do I really need those doors? The main reason I’d take this option is to reduce stress and just not even give it more chance.
  2. Be lazier at work
  3. Keep working

Oop it’s time for Thanksgiving dinner. Let’s revisit later!



My Secret Notebook

Quirky, curious, and philosophical Asian American gay Ivy League grad living in Southern California.