Roy is BS-ing me

Something that bothered me is that Roy said he didn’t want to do our dinner anymore because he lost money at the casino. But then the evening before our dinner, which we still did because I reminded him it was for our “anniversary” from first meeting, he called up Keita to get dinner, at Kbbq in Irvine, which isn’t super cheap either.

He never asks me out to dinner.

What does this make me think? It makes me think he’s full of shit. Plus, he just basically ignored me after I said it made me sad, and then was icy at dinner. He’s usually a bit distant when we first meet and then warms up after we kiss or something.

Either way, it also happened to be the anniversaries of Jessica/Jon (2 year) and Julie/Paul (1 year). And it made me realize that this isn’t something I can really have with Roy. He won’t ever put in the effort for us to get there. It’s just bullshit excuses and inconsistency.

Sure, he’s great in bed, he’s not seeing anyone else, he drives to me, and he has a sense of guilt/principles. But should I sacrifice the stronger potential of a loving relationship for the slim chance he might turn things around?

My plan is for 1–2 more meetups. After the end of one of them, I ask again if he wants to date me (as it’s been almost 2 months). If he’s still unsure, I will propose we still see each other, but also see other people. And then see what he thinks about that.



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My Secret Notebook

Quirky, curious, and philosophical Asian American gay Ivy League grad living in Southern California.