Taking lessons from the last 5 years of life

Even though I’m now envisioning branching out my social life, I’m remembering (due to an IG story meme “when you decide to isolate and be weird”) my lessons learned from 2020. So I want to take everything into perspective.

When I was dating Ray, my small social circles did shrink, and I stopped expanding. I was okay with that, I loved him, and he was a bit angsty around me talking to more people or going out more. Which is very red-flaggy especially if it did not come with communication. But I just did what I felt he preferred, even though he never reciprocated that very much (sure, sometimes he thought of me, whatever, he is a liar/cheater).

But I’m remember some key tenets of 2020 and 2021: transcending social obligations. I was happy to be free of social obligations after the lockdown, and now with my father gone, there is basically 0 pressure from anyone to go to any family stuff. I’m not celebrating, I’m just saying. And dating Ray was built on that. He didn’t have parents or other social expectations from a partner. And it was a low expectation relationship.

I kind of liked that.

But I realize now that I do think it’s important for a partner to be aware of social expectations and be willing to participate. And if they are tired or don’t want to, to just communicate. That’s really the solution here. And also have the love and effort to want to give their best.

So maybe I do get with someone where we minimize our unnecessary obligations. Maybe I get with someone where there are more (will be tiring), but invite healthy communication.

Either way, it’s an important reflection if I’m going back into the dating world.

Honestly, just finding someone with good grammar or who likes cuddling is 1 in a million. I feel giving up if I want to consider all these other things…