The future I had been planning collapsed

I found an email 2 years ago of me planning out my retirement age and what age I’d have kids with Ray.

That explains why I’ve been feeling like I wouldn’t have a life without Ray, that I wouldn’t have love without Ray. I had been dreaming for at least the past 2 years of a life with Ray, my life with Ray.

And now that we’re broken up, that entire future and vision has collapsed.

It’s impossible without this love with Ray.

My friend Dorithy has been helping me stay grounded as I think through all this. And she’s been trying to get me to realize that it’s temporal and I’ll get over it.

I think if (and when?) I rethink my future to include a new beautiful vision for me to wish upon, I’ll have a renewed hope for life.