My Secret Notebook

Nov 20, 2021

2 min read

the necklace he wears

This guy I’m seeing. He wears a necklace of a ring — a very nice Cartier ring in fact. It’s actually an engagement ring.

A few years ago, his ex-girlfriend cheated on him, and he left her. But soon she came back apologizing, even asking him to marry her. He said no. And told her to return the ring.

Not long after, she tried to get him back again. He refused.

She jumped off a building.

Her mom and brother said he should buy that ring back, and on his own accord, he did.

To this day, he still wears it when he goes out.

That ring. I’m a little jealous of it. But I don’t let it get to me. I know it’s not just a memento of the good times. It also represents redemption. The guilt he carried from her death — the pain… the trauma. It’s a little bit of making things right, and a little bit of hoping things turned out differently.

But why does he still wear it? Does he still love her? Is he not over her?

Well, he says he’s over it. And to be honest, I think there’s even more to that necklace than nostalgia and atonement. It also represents his desire to please others. His preference to do as others say to avoid conflict. How that preference, given the lack of strong personal objection, leads to him accepting what others impress.

It shows that when you insert yourself into his life, you become a part of him. You become something special in his life. And he remembers the good.

That, well, puts me at ease. It tells me that if I stick with him, perhaps I too will become something special in his life.

Perhaps one day, he will wear me around his neck.