The type of guy I fall for

My Secret Notebook
2 min readNov 4, 2022

I just realized I have a “type” I fall for. It’s not really a type I logically think is better though; it’s more of a natural thing. Here are some of those traits, and after, I’ll analyze why I think I subconscious do this.

Guys for this study: Chris, Will, Jonathan, Daniel, Miko, Brian, Austin, Ryo

Lol, that’s a lot when you lay it out like that. Jonathan and Daniel were the most short-lived probably.

Here are some traits (I’m a gay Asian guy, 5'10):

  1. They’re in school when I like them (5/8)
  2. They’re shorter than I am (6/8)
  3. They’re Asian (8/8)
  4. They mostly bottom (3/4) — the other 4 idk or is straight
  5. They make less money than I do (6/7) — excluding Chris because that’s high school
  6. Passionate kisser (5.5/6) — Daniel had thinner/tighter lips when in my mouth lol, so 0.5. Chris and Will I never kissed.
  7. Physically attracted to them at first (5.5/8), and eventually (8/8)
  8. Generous (7/7) — idk if Daniel is generous or not
  9. Introverted (5/7) — idr if Austin is introverted
  10. N-type on Myers briggs (5/7) — idk if Austin is N

There are prob way more than these, but they’re just quick ones I put together because I was noticing a trend lol. Ryo is 9 out of 10 of these (not #10).

What surprises me are numbers 1, 2, 5, and a bit of 4.

On #2 and #4, I tend to say that I like tall guys and I feel like I am attracted to top energy (which I now realize they all sort of have verse energy, and only 1 is traditionally more effeminate).

#1 and #5 are surprising because being more “wealthy” should be a more attractive trait. But instead, I value generosity (#8) instead. It may be easy to think that #1, #2, and #5 are about control. I don’t think that’s the case with money, but I think part of it is that I want them to know I like them for them; and it’s easier to see that if they make less or are in school while I make more?

Them being shorter might be a retention factor; shorter guys being less sought after means less chance of them leaving? OR, it could be a numbers thing where because I’m above average in height for Asians, it’s just more likely shorter guys would be around. OR, because I’m taller there may be an innate “better” factor that gives us a natural imbalance of “power” where I’ll always be taller (which can be a control thing).

I think more of these boxes get checked off the older I get for the guys I like lol.



My Secret Notebook

Quirky, curious, and philosophical Asian American gay Ivy League grad living in Southern California.