Revamping. Restarting. Redo time.
It’s time for me to get out of this cycle of routine and being sad from being rejected by a guy a like. We talked for 7 months before him I like him, and now he is distancing himself from me with the excuse that he is busy with work and school. “After this quarter” he says.
Well, it’s time for me to get a fresh start. I thought, maybe I will date. Maybe I will travel. WELL. It’s not easy to do either because of Covid. And, I don’t want to be emotionally dependent on dating/guys. Not because I’m being modern, but because that’s not a dependable route for emotional support.
- Friends: I’m already investing time in the key friends I identified to be most trusted to me. This has gone well. I’ve made new friends too.
- Sex: I had a rebound blowjob last night. Not really the best way to get over things. And I should be picky.
- NEW PROJECT. I need a new project. But I need to keep up with my current secret Youtube project. I should write more scripts before I jump into a new project??
Okay ideas for new project? What do I want to do?? I want to make something. Something funny I can share with people I care about. Make a game?? Ooooo. Or play one? Join a community or existing project? (online). Volunteer (something LGBTQ related). Join discord and socialize?
I don’t know. I feel like these ideas are “Expanding” my social involvement, meaning more people. And I don’t know if I want more people in my life. It’s exhausting.
But the new boardgame group can be a perfect testing ground if I make a game. YES. I will go with that. Game designing is fun. The boring part is producing and operationalizing a business zzzzz. I mean business planning is fun but actually letting it drag and stuff for long is boring as heck!